Is t1dactiveliving over? What happened and what needs to happen.

Start of t1dactiveliving: October 2013

Intention: blog about my own type 1 diabetes and fitness journey.

t1dactiveliving was meant to be a place where I could document my thoughts and share my struggles.

Mindset: blogging=therapeutic.

After a few months of blogging I wanted to talk to other t1d athletes and fitness lovers so I started approaching a few. I told them I would be putting something on my site, which I always did, but that really, it came back to me. I wanted to know the answers to the questions I was asking.

I have tried to make my intentions very clear with interviewees and I’ve even mentioned it in posts altogether. 

I would then turn these conversations into article-like posts so I could share them with you, the Diabetes Online Community. People seemed to like them, so I kept pressing on.

After doing this the site began to grow in viewership. More e-mails and comments came in (some private, some not) and there it was…the monumental impact of the DOC right in my face.

As I read more online content, I got a sneak peek into a world I had never imagined. Some things people wrote to me or I read were downright scary. It is undeniable that there are diabetics out there who are suffering immensely. Little hope fused with a lot of anger and resentment. 

Then I got to meet others who were thriving. I’m so grateful that I have had the opportunity to speak to such inspirational leaders. They have all tremendously helped me in my own acceptance of t1d.

And some of you have taken the time to tell me how much t1dactiveliving has motivated you and I am so honoured you feel that way. There have been some messages that have reduced me to a blubbering mess of tears.

All observations were eye-opening and taken to heart.

Then the clouds rolled in (P.S It was very difficult to write this)

Soon came pressure. Pressure I put on myself. I felt this growing responsibility to the DOC. I had to produce content, I had to answer every comment in the same day. My daily goal had to be promoting fitness amongst t1d’s in Canada. Any diabetes related event in the city? I had to be there and live tweet, take photos and write about it. Anything diabetes was now on the table as something I felt I needed to write about. All photos had to continue to be my own and they all had to be edited to my liking. I started to Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr.

Hello type A personality. Welcome to your sometimes not-so-healthy behaviour. All or nothing? Yeah that’s me.

In all my waking hours, I was focused on the site. It ate up the majority of my day. Things were expanding quickly. The more nice things people had to say, the more it fuelled my own pressure.

The site that was meant to be therapeutic is not anymore. I’ve denied it for some time but I do not have the time or resources to run t1dactiveliving as I have. This site is run by my lonesome and I cannot sustain t1dactiveliving at this pace. Like many of you, I have a number of responsibilities in a number of areas. I simply can’t upkeep and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Let’s get things straight

I am not abandoning t1dactiveliving. However I am taking a step back, trying to balance (for my own health and wellness) and answer these questions:

How can I best serve the diabetes community?

How can I not only talk about fitness motivation and inspiration within the DOC, but also myself be a living example of health?

A recent Instagram post: It exists. You can live without hating your body, a disease you might have, or circumstances beyond your control.  There's so much happiness and life to live. Every moment is a gift. So stop and really take notice of your thoughts. Take stock of how much time you spend doing things that never help you achieve your goals.  Calculate all the time you spend worrying about nothing, reading about people you don't know and will never be part of your life and choose to focus on the better.  Health is not the absence of disease. Health means choosing a life worth living.

A recent Instagram post: It exists. You can live without hating your body, a disease you might have, or circumstances beyond your control.There’s so much happiness and life to live. Every moment is a gift. So stop and really take notice of your thoughts. Take stock of how much time you spend doing things that never help you achieve your goals. Calculate all the time you spend worrying about nothing, reading about people you don’t know and will never be part of your life and choose to focus on the better. Health is not the absence of disease. Health means choosing a life worth living.

 

Love you DOC

I thank you for your continuous support and hope you will stay on this journey with me as I figure out how to move forward.

J