In another country, with no short-acting insulin, I started to panic and texted my fellow d-friend. I was higher then I’d been in years, super sleepy and out of it.
At that time I was just on Lantus, after a failed attempt at trying oral meds. New endo, new treatment experiment, same result. I need insulin. Period.
After what feels like a rollercoaster ride, I am back to where I started, on Lantus and Humalog (a short and long acting insulin). I could be screaming, “Why the hell did I go through all that?!” but I’ll take it and say that it’s just part of the process when they can’t figure out a concrete type for ya.
These past few weeks have done a number on me. Crazy lows, waking up in the middle of the night in a daze (or not remembering at all) and jumps in bs levels that make me want to nap and or puke the day away. I’m exhausted.
I realize now that I’ve been living with x diabetes for about 4 years. Where does the time go? And the issues I have with this disease are quite the same as I started. Mental exhaustion, and the ongoing quest for peace and balance with a disease that feels like it has none.
So…does this mean pump time? If after all this, I am insulin-dependent, then does that mean the next step would be a pump? I guess I’m always striving for the ‘next step’ if that makes any sense. It feels like I’m pedalling backwards with all this testing and unanswered questions. Just diagnose me, treat me with what works and let’s all move on.
I count my lucky stars that I have so many d-friends to support me. Now, time to inject…