What’s for Dinner? Cooking class and a grocery store tour!

Mmmmm foooooood. There are so many healthy options out there that can help your bg’s without sacrificing your tastebuds.

Here’s the latest event in you’re int he Greater Toronto Area:

Where: Loblaws Superstore, Bullock Drive, Markham (in conjunction with the MSH Adult Diabetes Clinic)

Time: 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Supermarket tour after with dietitian

Learn a quick easy meal for dinner!! (spaces limited)

(Must register with Adult Diabetes Education Clinic.

$10 fee (not refunded if not attended)

Receive a Loblaws $10 gift card when attended.

For more info call 905-472-7527 ext. 1

 

On the Outside

Cool new thang: when I got my bloodwork done, the lady filling up those tubes said that I could read my results online in less than 2 days. Brand new service offered by the lab.

Pretty cool.

And as I logged in and refreshed obsessively half a day later, I found zero satisfaction in what I saw when the results finally popped up.

My A1C was the same as before. And yet, I felt so blah about the whole thing. I was tired. I am tired. And is this my first diabetes burnout? I don’t even know what qualifies anymore. My mind is foggy.

Lately everything has been exhausting. I write in my journal with no filter, then read a few days later in horror at what I have put down on paper. I am so incredibly mean to myself. It’s abuse really. I am so highly critical I don’t even want to share with you one sentence. It’s disgusting really.

I am anxious and heartbroken and exhausted and just feel done. This is supposed to be my rest time. There’s no races, no scheduled training. Work is ramping up but not too much. And yet, I am covered in sadness and find it hard to drag myself out of bed or even make breakfast.

I’ve forgotten to have fun, to laugh and as each day passes, that little bit of hopelessness and uncertainty in myself creeps into my brain. Throughout my life I have dealt with anxiety and depression-but this time it seems like it’s wave after wave. The water seems too high and I don’t have the energy to fight.

When I get a low I just stare at it. When it’s time to treat I become extremely irritable (I wasn’t like this before). When my seizures come on I weep so badly my eyes are swollen the next day.

I’ve been wearing my CGM on and off. I know the information is valuable, but I also look down at the screen and can feel defeated. There’s tiny scars on my belly from the instances where I’ve scratched so hard and ripped it off. Two seconds later I regret the move.

Keeping up this blog as well as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram is just weighing me down. I don’t want to talk about diabetes right now. Can I have a break!?

Is anyone else out there feeling like this? HAVE you felt like this?

This isn’t meant to be a poor me entry. It’s real purpose is to show that despite the overall tone of my site (you can do it! let’s exercise and be happy), I do feel this way sometimes too. Right now, I feel pretty bad.

A message to Riding On Insulin & Ironman

What is this? An open letter? Okay, yeah, let’s call it that.

On September 13, the largest group of type 1’s and type 3’s (supporters get their own type too!) took on Ironman Wisconsin. The team? Riding On Insulin.

I’ve been watching and reading, following along and let me tell you, if you were there, you would have felt the supreme magic.

Now I wasn’t there, but I’ve attended one previously to support a friend and the energy is indescribable.

I can only imagine what it was like to be there, swimming, cycling and running alongside fellow athletes who live with t1d. They get it, you get them.

So to all of you, thank you. Thank you for being a supreme example of perseverance. Thank you for the motivation to live my best life. Thank you for getting out there when you didn’t feel like it. Thank you for showing the world that nothing can stop you.

I’ve never been so proud of a group of people I’ve never met. Just know that this event has meant a lot to me, and to probably a lot of others out there.

XO,

J

Stripping down to nothing in a busy marketplace.

For those like me, like her, who have struggled with body image issues for far too long.

Not too long ago I shared in a Facebook group chat how incredibly happy I was that I was able to wear something exposing my skin (scars and all) during hot yoga. Not too long ago I also stood in front of the mirror, looking at the dark marks that have been left from my CGM and injection sites, consumed in a feeling of hopelessness.

It it not an uphill or downhill battle at the moment. It’s an ever-moving wave I try to ride. I hope this video brings you joy.

XO,

J